Ain’t nothing you do can get to me

Do you have this same feeling? I get this weird “defeated” feeling when I see someone reading a book I have read before. Ridiculous right? I thought so. It feels like they know all my secrets. More like they have just cracked the code to my secret weapon. I feel like they have just taken my power away; busted and defeated 😔.

I have a similar feeling this very moment. This particular feeling is not exactly a busted or defeated feeling, it is just similar. Let me explain. I used to think very highly of myself in terms of how under-control I have my temperament. I could barely get mad at anything. Always calm no matter what is happening or being done to me. In a nutshell, I had always had my temperament under control. Not until quite recently…

Do you agree that you cannot really know your true self if you have never been tested before ? I agree with this a one hundred percent. Spectators always think they can play better than the players on the field. Because everything looks easy from a distance.

I am just realizing now that I had just never been tested well enough that is why I used to think I was so good. I can remember I have said it out loud before that I can never get mad at anything. I mean nothing could ever get to me to get me really annoyed. I am overly understanding for anything to get to me. I used to think. But there is a whole sky waiting for the bird outside of the cage, and it should not mistaken jumping around in the cage as knowing how to fly.

One surprising thing I have learnt about myself is that I am really not as patient and tolerating as I thought I was. I just did not have anything triggering me enough. Well I do have one now. 😂 And I find it therapeutic dealing with a real problem like that. I think I have my trigger to thank for it. 🥲

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