The graveyard beach club

I found this one in an old grave I was digging in last Saturday; a hand reached out and gave me a note that said:

When we eat your soul we shall have full control over you…

And then we shall judge you, and if found wanting, then you shall be cast into the fiery pit of hell to die forever…

So, what have you got to say to that?

Nothing me lord.

Nothing?

No me lord, absolutely nothing.

Then you are doomed; doomed I say.

Yes me lord, thank ye me lord.

Everyone alive today is a descendant of the great sperm whale;

And that’s it, end of discussion.

Ah, the brave beggars of 5th street

Crazy, as on a plate full of dishes

Be very careful, you down below, or we will send a plague

The age group of this is beyond perpendicular, said the snake

Oh, you craven beauty you

Oh, you pass to the pictures you

Oh, the horrendous scope of it all…

Hot-plates; dishes; we got a plenty.

What’s that old fool going on about now?

He says it’s half moon tonight and full moon on Saturday…

And that means:

If you’re going to die then you may as well go for the big time.

And then chips on Sunday came around…

And that was it; there wasn’t much more we could say.

I am now officially 14 feet higher than the Eskimos that live down below on Saturday night and come home after

midnight to tell you all about it.

Well it was the pulse, wasn’t it; that saved her.

And the Eskimos I hear tell.

Well we’ve always got to get the Eskimos in somewhere, haven’t we?

The instruction manual said 14 feet.

And there’s me thinking it was Saturday night.

So it was east or west then that this man rode upon your bike?

Exactly, yes, I’m sure it was something like that.

And did you get a description?

No; but I did get his wallet.

Perhaps that might give us a clue?

Do not take this lightly, my friend,

But if you take hate into your heart,

You will become as lost as the infidels…

After the bomb went off,

We were as gentle as snowflakes in the wind.

And we loved our government even more

Until the wind broke down

And lost our suitcases somewhere in

Kentucky…

This was going to be our last midnight together

But I guess we missed the station going straight on through….

And then I heard snoring…that stopped suddenly.

And who are you then?

I’m: just sitting in the back seat.

Describe it for me and I will grant you something

They put me on new meds today and I can’t remember anything

That explains it all then.

Stuffy in here, isn’t it?

Someone open a window immediately.

I think I shall call out for help now.

They put me on the third seat from the back

Needless to say I escaped straight through the emergency door

And never stopped running until I got to where I belonged.

When they moved the walls of all I was looking for

I crept home in a funk

And had a cup of tea

And I never once suspected

That it was me that moved the walls

When I forgot what I was looking for

And had a cup of tea, which is when:

The wrong side of midnight came and went away

Like a puff of smoke on a windy day.

Like I said, they were moving the walls.

So anyway, after I enrolled in art school

And puffed a lot of stuff

Back and fore and here and there

Before I knew anything…

And then it was over

And they gave me a degree.

When I asked them: how did I do?

They said: congratulations, you passed.

Well, they could take my name home in vain

And pass me off in despair,

But hey, I got my degree, didn’t I, in the graveyard beach club?

Image from Pixabay

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