The Fear That Stayed: My Experience with PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder has affected a lot of people mentally, emotionally, socially and even in their daily life. PTSD causes a lot of anxiety and fear of unsafe, especially when you find yourself in a similar situation. Being in a similar situation can trigger flashbacks, fear and even anxiety. The effects of trauma can be really overwhelming, cause permanent damage to the mind, even when it doesn't show a visible scar.

I have experienced post traumatic stress disorder and I also know people who have also struggled with PTSD after a traumatic event.

A friend once told me that she couldn't take a bike as a means of transportation. After she almost lost her life due to an accident, she said each time she tries entering a bike, she will always remember the incident, get really anxious and to overcome a fear like this takes time.

Another friend told me she is scared of walking when it's raining because she almost drowned in an open drainage when it was raining.

PTSD really causes harm to lot of people, it restricts them from certain activities due to fear of reoccurrence and past trauma. The damage might not be visible like an injury, but the harm it caused to the emotion lasts longer and sticks to our memory for long.

One of the traumatic things that has ever happened to me as a teenager that still affects me till date is being chased by a dog.

It all happened during a lonely and quiet afternoon. I was coming back from school alone because my class had practicals and I couldn't go back with my siblings. A few streets to my house, one of the compound gates along the street was wide open. Obviously, a car just drove out, and the security man was far from the gate.

While approaching, I didn't notice the dog wasn't chained and nobody was ahead of me. I walked innocently to the gate side and immediately saw this mighty security dog.

Out of fear, I screamed loud and started running carelessly. The huge dog began to chase me too. Before the owner and the security man could call back, I had already run into a stagnant water, drenched my uniform, bag and books. I was breathing so fast, I couldn't move anymore and was facing a very huge dog in so much fear.

That particular day passed, but to me the memory never passed away, it's still very fresh in my head. Even tilldate, I'm scared of dogs, even the smallest dog scares me.

The incident with the dog, traumatizes me to date and I can't even consider having a dog as a pet in the future, because I'm extremely scared of dogs and been trying to overcome the fear.
That memory lives rent free in my head. Still affects me like it happened yesterday.

Sometime last year, my cousin's visited our compound with their dog and the dog was friendly, but I couldn't get close. My heart kept pounding in fear because I was scared it could chase me or even bite out my flesh, considering the size of the mouth.

PTSD made me terrified of a friendly animal that stays around humans, and it's going to take time and effort to overcome a fear like this, but hopefully I will.

PTSD can affect anyone regardless of age, gender or even background. Although there could be healing for support, finding a way to cope and overcome trauma, the process might not be easy or immediate.

Pictures are generated through ChatGPT.

Thanks for reading ♥️

Vanilla 💗