Denying Myself Things I Needed.

There was a time I had being denying myself of some certain things, not because I didn't like them but because I had been putting other important expenses as a necessity. I had skipped getting basic things as a woman and whenever I was asked why I didn't do those things I always came up with an excuse. I always said I wasn't used to it, or I would answer that I didn't like them, whereas I did. I got used to the fact that I always said I didn't like them or wasn't used to them. I started realizing that I was depriving myself of the basic needs that I deserved. I slowly began to accept that I should be able to get the things I wanted and that I should not be ashamed of it. I started to take care of myself and embrace the things that I liked.

But before I started embracing the things I liked, there were so many things going wrong. I had denied myself basic things that I really needed, such as clothing, hygiene products, and self-care items. I had convinced myself that these things weren't necessary and that I should not spend money on them. I felt ashamed of wanting or needing these items and would come up with excuses when asked why I didn't have them. It wasn't until I started to recognize my denial and acknowledge the importance of taking care of myself that I began to feel more comfortable with getting the things I needed.

I at first started with the little things I felt I did have, things that didn't cost me much to buy, I started getting them little by little, but something happened, it caused a havoc in my home , as my husband wasn't used to seeing me with them, this made him start asking so many questions which I tried in my possible ways to answer at first he didn't accept me getting these things and wearing them or using them, I had time to explain that I have been denying myself if things I wanted but couldn't get just because I wanted to save money for the family. After I explained this, he began to understand and slowly accepted it. We eventually came to an agreement that I could buy the things I wanted as long as I was financially responsible.

The most annoying thing about this is that I had made it a part of me and I had just being in denial, whenever I saw someone with the things I thought I couldn't have I always felt bad about myself until the day I decided to let go of such a life, I had to stop being in self denial and had to accept the fact that it was because I didn't have enough finances that's why I wasn't able to get them I saw it as a failure and it was hard for me to admit it. I started to take steps to improve my finances and eventually I was able to get the things I wanted. Now, I'm no longer in denial and I'm grateful for the lessons I learned. I am now in control of my finances and I understand the importance of budgeting and planning ahead. I'm also more reflective on my spending and make sure I'm only buying what I truly need and want. I am proud of the progress I have made.

Thanks for reading my post, this is my entry to hive learners prompt week 70 edition 3

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