Hello Wor... Mother Fuckers!

Remember the knot in your stomach… the sickness in your gut the very first time you ever looked at that awful book, horrible website, or wretched instructor? That very first time when someone wanted to teach you how to output text to the screen, and they said, “Hello world!” You felt it again, didn’t you. I did that just to rankle your precious feelings. Don’t worry, we’re not doing that awful phrase.

Welcome to Python. I’m going to quite possibly teach you your first line of code. Your first Python program. Yes it is…

HELLO MOTHER FUCKERS the Python fun begins. Somehow books can go on for several pages on how to do this. I’m not doing that. Let me be brief…

You’re sitting in a bar when some group of obnoxious guys stand behind you. You were having a good time itching your nuts, but now these hillbilly jackoffs start bumping into you. One guy in particular is spilling part of his “rum and vodka” on you.

You could have put anything between those parentheses and printed. It happened to be the string, “rum and vodka”. You could have chosen something else. You could have chosen “rum and shit”…

And the hilarity ensues, Billy Bob is drinking his “rum and shit”. But you forgot one important thing… Billy Bob is now spilling his “rum and shit” on you. You can’t handle it, Billy Bob and his friends got to go. You reach down your pants and grab your 6 ft long poison tipped samurai sword.

You spin around and screech, “HELLO MOTHER FUCKERS!”. Everyone watches you drunkenly spinning around your chair with your seed spreader grasped firmly in hand. You start to stand when the bar floor jumps up at you.

I kind of forgot to tell you the mechanics of the print statement that seems to be on all those other websites. But just look at the above examples and follow them. Not just the print statements… but that life example as well. If you can’t figure out how to do the print statement after this, then keeping reading this website. You’re bound to figure it out eventually.