Feeling Guilty For Not Being Productive .:. Late Night Blogging

On busy weekdays, it's hard to lift your head and enjoy the outdoors or nature... While I do share "nature stuff" here on HIVE, I don't get to go out and do it as often as I'd like... Recently, I read a post by Hive account@artemisnorth.com that hit me hard, as I could relate a lot... It's about feeling guilty after doing something that we like.

As I was working almost my whole life as an entrepreneur, building my own business(es), and hustling all around... The thing that I learned fastest was that "You are your WORST boss!" Btw, I did have one 2 jobs while studying, where I had a good boss, and a very bad boss, so I know what I'm talking about... I am a much worse boss to myself... lol...

Working for yourself means that YOU HAVE TO do all the work... There is no excuse: "someone else is gonna do it." Or, picking issues that you want to do, and skipping those ugly ones that suck... Sometimes you have creative hours, when you enjoy what you do, and sometimes, you have boring, repetitive work to do, because it brings money, or could bring money... It's a lot of COULD and WOULD, especially when you try to BUILD something... No income at the beginning, just expenses, with a chance/promise of "future income"... It can happen, or it can't...

Not sure when I'm struggling more, during the week when I'm sitting in front of this thing 12 hours per day, or during the weekends when I try to relax and feel guilty of (trying) doing nothing... I mean, having some quality free time...

Speaking of 12 hours, at the end of (almost) every day, I have a feeling that I didn't do anything productive! That's probably the worst part of the process... Again, guilt... And to be honest, sometimes I really ask myself, "Where the f&ck did I spend those 12 hours?"

And then, there are days like this one... When I spent almost the whole day outside... Still having my laptop in my backpack, but turned off... Having it for "just in case"... I got that ugly habit while I was running a hosting business and had to react to EVERY issue promptly, in the first 5-10 min of an issue... I suppose I still got "the ticks" from that...

Back to nature... As it's one of the rare things that gives me peace, and calms me down... And there are animals... Like this pigeon... When I was a kid, we had a lot of different animals: a dog, cats, parrots, ducks, chickens... Somehow, animals can FEEL when you are struggling, when you are scared, or hurt... They come closer to you, and sometimes, by just enjoying their company, you start feeling better...

On my walk to the Faro d'Albir, at one of the breaks, this pigeon was my buddy...

Finally, my new buddy got a bit more confidence in me and came so close that I could make this photo... Unfortunately for him, I didn't have any food to share, and I suppose he was there for that... Or, maybe it just wanted to pose for you! 😍

On my way back to the car, I took this photo... To not forget how beautiful this place is, and how it will be there for me when I want to relax... Maybe my pigeon-buddy will be there too... We will see...

On that day, my wife had some rehearsals with another musician, so we had some time together, and the other time, I was walking solo... We decided to have a "tupper lunch" on the beach, which was probably the best decision of the day... As the rehearsal took place in Benidorm, we hit the nearest beach and enjoyed sunshine which lasted almost exactly as long as our lunch... In half an hour, the sky that you can see at the photo above wasn't visible anymore... It was full of ugly grey clouds, with cold wind blowing...

As a "car freak", while we were on the beach, we noticed a big car parked in front of a Lebanese restaurant... Even from a big distance, you could notice it was much more luxurious than the others... People were stopping to take photos, so when we decided to leave, I did the same... 😀 You can't see an everyday Maybach on the streets... Personally, combining two colors reminds me of a Chevy Chase movie where he was riding an old van, taking 5 kids on vacation... 😃

Btw. Iraqi licence plates... The first time I saw these...

And we are back to the "crime scene", the place we lived before... We are still on the same day, it was getting dark, so I took a photo of an almost empty seaside promenade...

By checking the photo properties, these two photo are taken with only 1 hour of difference...

Sometimes, in winter times, the promenade looks like a day after an apocalypse... Ghost town...

Tomorrow is Monday... Another week begins, hopefully more productive than the previous one... Gotta kick myself in the ass and start building!

How was your weekend?

Thank you for your time.

--ph--