Just keep swimming

It makes me feel old to be reminded of how the young Pat once sat in front of our bulky TV and watched Finding Nemo on a pirated DVD we bought in our local public market. The DVD comes with not just one but a couple more cartoon movies. That's how we, people living away from the big cities of Cebu used to watch movies. It's not like I'm proud of it (piracy) but back then that was the easiest and cheapest way to watch a movie. There's no cinema in my hometown until now. At least it's easier these days, you can buy mobile data that'll last you a month for less than $4 and there's Netflix right on a device you can carry everywhere you go. As they say, life's easier now.

But how did I end up with this story? Remember when Dory said "Jump keep swimming"? Today, I'll share a story of how I managed to keep swimming or, more appropriately, how I stayed afloat and survived a great turmoil in my life.

I shared about my life's most painful heartbreak in a couple of write-ups such as this and this last year. Long story short the guy went to Cebu to ask for forgiveness. On the same day he went to Cebu and confessed to me all that he's been up to (including cheating) while we were in the relationship, I had a concert to attend; a concert I'd been meaning to watch all my life.

We talked over lunch until late in the afternoon. All his confessions came as a huge revelation and I was left questioning "Where did I go wrong?" There was a dark cloud all over me that afternoon, but I had a choice to make. I could either sulk in my room all night long, cry all my frustrations and grief until I ran out of energy, or I could start to live again, see life from a different perspective, go out and for a night, forget that life's been terribly unfair and greedy. I chose the latter.

With the last pint of strength and sanity in me, I managed to arrive at the concert venue early. I planned to go to the concert alone; in fact, it was the first concert I went to on my own and I wouldn't do it any other way. Are you curious why the concert was so important? Because my favorite artist, Ely Buendia was there. Ely used to be the lead vocalist of Eraserheads, a famous band based in the Philippines. But they disbanded even before I grew up to sing their songs. Ang Huling El Bimbo became my favorite song in college and hearing the first note of the song played on a piano calms any turbulence inside me. That's how powerful that song is. There were a couple of other artists who played then Ely showed himself and the crowd went wild. I honestly thought I'm the only one who'd go crazy to hear him play live but turned out, I was wrong.

He played all famous songs of Eraserheads such as Magasin, With a Smile, Pare Ko, Ligaya, but it was when Ang Huling El Bimbo was played that I felt instant relief. For a moment, life felt great; life felt like it was starting to be great again. Now, I'd jokingly say that I've planned my life well in the sense that when it didn't go as I expected, I had a backup plan. But that's not what happened, I was intentional with every single thing I did after the break up. I used my willpower to take control of where my life will be heading after the great fall.

And it turned out, Dory was right all along "Just keep swimming!" until you reach your desired state, your dream life. It's not what happens in your life that'll predict how great you'll become but you respond to each and every adversity with vigor and grace. So yeah, just keep swimming!

P.S. I was happy to meet some friends after the concert! 😁