The Big Lick

The other day, I had to mail a paper check, gross I know. So I bought some envelopes I put the check in, wrote the address, and then go to lick that line of slightly sweet envelope glue... always a gross but also satisfying experience for some reason...one of the few socially acceptable times you can eat glue, fuck yeah! What I didn't realize when I went to lick it were two things: 1. I was being watched by a kid 2. You don't lick envelopes anymore. You simply pull off a film to expose the glue...

So this probably 10 year old kid is watching me get ready to make out with an envelope. I could tell he had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I suddenly realized that being only 10 he probably never knew the thrills of envelope licking! I was going to roll down the window and explain but I decided that would make it even more awkward...stupid kid...