Newbie eat me

I just joined Hive today and it is funny how embedded I think I am in the crypto world but it was my first time stumbling on Steemit. Anyway, this post is just an introduction to me while I learn the workings of the platform.

I always think of myself as smart and intelligent yet I feel like I am lacking so much. Graduated college in 2017 and couldn't make it into the market at the time and living in a different country as a foreigner didn't make it all easy. I got enrolled to do my master's degree in a course that I am not interested in. At the time I just did it because I was bored and thought it would be easy for me to juggle with other things but now I realized I have wasted huge sums of money and time as well as studied and wrote papers that don't interest me in any way.

I was once a good and dedicated programmer, not the top of the class but in the top tier level where I got applauded often by professors until I graduated. I lost focus, I felt I was too good to take tests and what not and eventually lost my one real shot at a tech firm. For two years, I have only had one interview from over 100 applications. I am learned enough not to blame my setbacks on race or location, I realize I am not good enough for any firm and all I can do is work towards being good enough.

I got a little online gig to moderate a group for a rather large company where I earn $15 a week and currently waiting to be named Community Manager of the General channel on Discord for a crypto server. I realized I've got a thing for support and solving problems. I wish I could implement this ideology back into programming and be what i envisaged.

I hope in 60 days I can be able to say I am good at A, B, and C without fear, I hope in 60 days the market will smile on me again. I have given too much to come up short but whatever happens, I will always stay the course.

My first post is pretty much me ranting...

Happy reading xx