Make Me Remember

I could tell from the start that you were in danger
couldn’t I?
You looked at me and I saw the desperation in your eyes
I knew right there and then that you’re in dire need for help
I wonder why I can see right through you?
At once I knew how scared you really were;
and yet
I just walked pass through you
because I got insanely scared too;
but I walked away slowly
hoping that my conscience will win as it wrestles with my fear
and then maybe I can run back to you
hold you in my arms
and make sure you’ll be forever safe;
But even how much I wanted my conscience to win
At that moment
my fear devoured my whole reasoning;
It’s as if I forgot who am I—
the strong-willed, courageous, righteous me—
in a snap, was gone;
You cried the kind of cry that will forever haunt me
and I’m remorseful for I failed you;
I looked back
but still I walked away;
Now—now...
I’ll never be able to sleep
I’ll be forever wondering;
You became my own ghost
the monster under my bed
my caffeine reload as I palpitate;
But I deserve this;
I deserve these sleepless nights
These ghastly thoughts
Please don’t let me sleep long
Remind me
Make me remember
how I left you alone
and deemed to suffer.
I deserve it.

”The more you want to leave something behind, the more it follows you.”

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