MDD : Major Depressive Disorder

I was diagnose with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) on July, 2021. I guess thats a shocked to everybody that knew me.

I was the strong woman as people always see I am. But maybe the stress was built slowly when Covid-19 hit us.

I used to be working for nearly 20years of my life and once I stop and being jobless, I was starting to feel lost. I was needing help in silence. Nobody comes and talk me out of it.

During the first year of Covid-19, me and my spouse have been planning a lot of things just to survive. I know he's trying too. I know he's more stress that me.

I guess my partner didnt help me go through it as he himself was having depression as well. He was already diagnosed long before me for having Dysthymic Disorder, which i know from the Hospital in my hometown prescription letter.

So what happen when two depress people got stuck together? Its chaos. Its toxic and its a painful experience. The worst things was, I even diagnose with Panic Disorder.

I would be lying on bed and scared to death. Been going in and out the emergency room and clinics. Everytime I went for it, the result will always be the same until I was send over to see a PYS.

Dear readers, if you know somebody that have been quite and stuck in their room for more than a week or two, do check on them. There was a sign that might be can help them get through it without thinking drastically.

For me,the sign was:

1. Stuck in the room for nearly 2 weeks plus without talking to anybody.
2. Too tired to sleep to tired to do anything.
3. Can't eat,or else I'll vomit.
4. My heart keep on racing and my blood pressure will rise.
5. I feel so useless.
6. I cried alone in silent.

And there's more which I can't remember.

Do check on your friends and your loved one every once in a while. A simple hello might save their life.