Catching snowflakes with the whiskers

Did it pass? The flood wave optimism of “fuck 2020, the worst year ever is over, shit’s gonna get better from now on”. The hype of “let’s kick covid in the butt”! Did it last longer than the money they wasted for minutes of extra air pollution shut up in the sky once the clock struck midnight? I would say I told them so if it wasn’t so tragic. And now, they are crushed again thinking of all the challenges lying ahead, of all the days of the same shit, different day. I despair when I think ahead more than a day. Today is all there is, for your sanity. That is the only comfort I can offer, and it fucking sucks. Arm yourself with patience and keep on keeping on.

I don’t look for inspiration or motivation to fall into my lap. I do stuff because what else is there to do, might as well do something, anything. Shoveling snow has been a pleasure. I am learning new things. I’ve been wanting to write this post for a month, but I did not know how to say what I wanted to say, if anything. Words sometimes feel pointless in this form. I do stuff instead. Does anyone read this anyway? Do you relate? But who am I to judge how you cope and keep on keeping on. Maybe words are your thing.

There must be something slightly wrong with me. Maybe I am numb. Emotionally detached. Not all the time. I still get fired up about things. But I don’t allow myself to go there most of the time. If I do, I will be toast in no time. I keep thinking of countless things I want to do. Maybe I am trying to bury myself because I simply can’t do all of them. Then I end up doing nothing at all and the stupid thoughts creep up on me again. You know, the shit’s pointless and I am a total waste of space, kind.

It all comes down to focus. It is always the focus. How not to be a plastic bag in the wind allowing every single disturbance to carry you in all directions. It probably doesn't make any sense to you. It’s fine. I guess I wanted to let the raw feed float a bit. Anyways, in case you find yourself in a similar kind of limbo, doing stuff and focusing on today only helps a bit.

Woah, this feed is dark. Hopefully, next time, I will show up with some of the stuff in the works and something lighter. But here, isn’t the kitty the cutest? Do you have a snowy winter wherever you are?