LIFE ON THE PAYROLL

Recently a man I barely know offered me a lucrative position. "How would you like to be on the payroll?" he asked.

"What would I have to do?" I replied

"Create content and engage" he answered ambiguously.

"What's the catch?" I asked suspiciously.

He scratched his nutsack for a while (we were having a zoom call so I had a good view of his nutsack), before elaborating further.

"OK, here's the deal" he finally said, "you have to write a new, lengthy, and verbose post, about a community approved subject, one that fits in with our leftist agenda, each and every day. And from time to time you have to shill some bullshit for the man"

"In return" he continued, "you will get $50 worth of upvotes per post and dozens of mindless comments from fake accounts that all want to suck your dick. Also there is a dental plan and special bonuses"

"Where do I sign?" I asked before logging out to groom my poodle...

*When you are grooming your poodle, do not use an electric shaver or it will grab your chicken bag.