Howzit Hive!

Howzit bru, you coming to the jol tomorrow? We're gonna have a leka time! Yebo, leka like a fire cracker!
My boet is gooi'ng a braai, the Springboks are playing the All Blacks; I tell you, we're gona give them a moerse pak! It's a bring and braai, but my ballie is making skilpadjies and pofadder. So just you bring the boerewors and biltong, and don't forget the dop, bru, brandy and coke, it's gona be a moerse jol, whatcha say!
Eish, ja, and don't forget the Grandpa for the babbelas, haha!
Janee, it's Friday night and the vrou is smiling from ear to ear, we're chowing fish and slap chips tonight; agshame, she also needs a break! I skeem maybe I'm gona get lucky tonight!
Ja bru!
Did I tell you about that oke at the graft, he keeps on trying me, skeems he's the laanie. Meantime he a properse skebenga. I tell you bru, I'm gatvol, noways is he gona sit on my head no more, I'm gona bliksem him! The vrou told me to vasbyt, my time will come. Aikona, noways can I wait that long!
Agman, the stupid phone, sorry bru, but that's the vrou...
...
...
Haibo! I must vai, gota pick up the kids and take them to the pozzie, it's not safe in the park no more. I promised the vrou I'll be there nownow.
Whatcha say, just a quick one for the road, a triple brandy & coke, gona need it, so gooi it, my bra!

^{Photo by Lawrence Makoona on Unsplash}

Forgive me, my fellow South African Hivers, we all know that is SA slang at its worst!

Everyone else, did you understand that conversation? I'm sure you got the gist, if not, let me know and I will do a translation.

However, how pronunciation, dialect, colloquialism, and slang happened in the first instance fascinates me.
What brought about these changes in the English language?

What is the difference between colloquialism, dialect, and slang?

Colloquialism: Informal phrases used in everyday conversation.
Dialect: A form of a language used in a specific region or by a particular social group.
Slang: Informal words or phrases that are often used by a specific group of people.
^Source

Colloquialism especially puzzles me.

Why change the English language because it's taken to another region?
Football or Soccer
Boot or Trunk
Biscuits or Cookies
Flapjacks or Crumpets or Pancakes (this one is particularly confusing)
Courgette or Zucchini
Jam or Jelly
Sweater or Jumper

The list goes on, and on, and on...

We all use slang, but do you experience colloquialisms in your language, and can anyone tell me how these came about?

We are a strange lot, us humans, aren't we?

Some words are no longer considered 'politically correct', so I'm not sure if I can use the word human without offending someone!

Nuts, I say, or is it Wacko?

𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙩 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩

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^{Artwork by @artywink}