Love can be the most dangerous thing too

Love is a beautiful thing, but it's also the most dangerous. The moment you let someone else into your heart and soul, they own both of them. Your heart and soul. You don't get to keep one for yourself. This is how I felt about my relationship with Joel. He had stolen both from me.

I'd never been so happy as when I was with him. And that happiness made me feel guilty at times. Because even though he wasn't physically inside of me, there were still some nights we'd spend together, where he would make love to me like he did before we became engaged. A lot of times, I had no choice but to give in. After all, who am I to say that what he wanted to do didn't affect me? At least that's what I convinced myself.

But every time I gave in to his advances, I felt dirty afterward. Like I'd been used, and it made me hate myself.

There's also something called Stockholm syndrome, which means you start to think like your captor.

For years, I thought Joel's family was my enemy. But they weren't. They loved me just as much as he did. It took them years to see through his lies, but eventually, they did. They hated him more than I did. That made me feel better because I knew I wasn't alone in hating him.

When I got pregnant, Joel tried everything in his power to stop me from keeping our baby. He threatened to take my child away from me if I didn't get rid of it. He told me we couldn't afford another mouth to feed. When I refused to abort, he beat me until I lost the baby. I spent three days in the hospital and Joel went out and bought a new car to apologize.

After that, he stopped beating me. But instead of being thankful, I was furious. I kept telling him I didn't want his money or anything else he could offer me unless he was willing to stay sober. His response always was "No deal." Eventually, he started using again and he began cheating on me with random women he met.

The last straw came when he got arrested for assaulting one of those women, and then he tried to blame it on me. The police didn't believe him, but I did. That's why I filed for divorce and left him behind.

It was a few weeks later that he kidnapped me. And by then, I was already in love with him. No matter how many times he hurt me, I stayed. And I let him use my body whenever he needed it.

For several months, I was his slave. But after everything he put me through, it finally dawned on me that I deserved more. That I didn't need him anymore. So when he pulled me into his office, I decided it was time to go.

"How do you know you can trust me?" he asked when he saw the fear in my eyes.

That was when I realized that he couldn't possibly mean what he said. There was no way he could be sincere.

"I guess this is goodbye," I said as I walked toward the door.

Joel grabbed my arm. I looked up and stared into his sad eyes, hoping for something different. Some sign that he cared about me, but he only smiled.

"Let me show you something first."

He led me out onto his balcony, but instead of looking down at the city, he pointed straight ahead.

A few seconds later, I saw a small plane flying low over us. It was heading for LAX and I knew right then that Joel was going to try to kill me. I turned around to face him and whispered, "You're not going to get away with it."

As soon as I said those words, he grabbed a gun from his desk and shot me in the head.

My body dropped to the floor and I closed my eyes. A second later, I felt myself floating upward. I floated above the ground and I heard Joel scream my name.

I looked down and saw him running towards me, but it was too late. My body crashed against the side of the building and his voice fell to an echo.

I allowed myself to die while hoping that someone would find the recorded tape of all of our conversations and decipher how much of a bully Joel was and how he murdered me in cold blood.

At least, the tape will help me get my revenge for everything he had to me, my body, my baby, and my mental space. Once he serves jail terms, I'll rest peacefully, and hopefully, meet my unborn child on the other side of the world.