Challenge #04655-L271: Improper Parcel Preparation

What happens to a poor postal worker delivering a package some idiot wrote “Non-Flammable” on, even though the contents are VERY LIKELY to spontaneously burst into flames? -- Deathshead419

As far as Lyle was concerned, this parcel was plastered with overly specific denials. All hand-written over every possible space. Not flammable, they said, Definitely won't spontaneously combust. It was also laid all over with "Handle With Care" and "Fragile" stickers. One of the hand-written warnings, in worrying crayon, said, Store it in cool, dry place.

There was only one conclusion.

This parcel was packed and labled by an idiot. A very specific degree of idiocy that read all the cautions and the ever-growing list of things that people weren't allowed to send by the mail, and figured straight-up lying would let them get away with this horseshit.

Make a system idiot-proof, and the universe is bound to provide a wilier idiot. If they only spent their brain power in pondering why those preventions existed, the postal system might be a more pleasant place to work at.

Lyle removed the parcel - very carefully - from the conveyors and placed it -equally carefully - on a stable surface. There had to be something they could do to prevent further idiocy. Something within the rules that would help promote more customer honesty. Though he doubted that the average idiot would ever wise up.

Nevertheless, the postal office could legally teach this idiot an important lesson.

Lyle secured a large Styrofoam box and some dry ice to keep the thing cool, then attached an official postal sticker on top of the multitude of warnings.

"Return to sender. Parcel improperly prepared for post."

He asked to have the privilege of delivery.

One look at all the overly specific denials was all it took for his boss to okay the request.

[Photo by Ari Sha on Unsplash]

If you like my stories, please Check out my blog and Follow me. Or share them with your friends! Or visit my hub site to see what else I'm up to.

Send me a prompt [28 remaining prompts!]

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Check out the other stuff I'm selling