Challenge #04324-K306: The Bit

The humans decide to throw a surprise party for the ship's captain. All safely done of course. -- Anon Guest

Humans are weird, but they know how to party. More to the point, they know how to throw an inclusive party with understanding for everyone's needs[1]. They will party for any reason, but they do have their favourites.

Like birthdays.

Captain Drees knew their Humans were plotting something, but they had an inkling it was about the orbit of their home planet. At least they were considerate Humans, and managed to ask politely. "What kind of parties do you like, Cap'n?"

That was their only warning what the Humans were up to. "Just... an ordinary party, thankyou. No need to go overboard on my behalf, thankyou."

The Humans were unnervingly excited about that. Drees caught them whispering in the corridors. The most alarming was the squeaking glee of, "We can do a bit! Eeeee!"

There were few things more concerning than Humans excited to "do a bit".

Drees found out about it when they entered the mess hall to discover... an ordinary party. The printed banner said, Generic Banner. The ballons were shades of Public Space Grey, as were the streamers. There were Generic Games with minimal, low-effort art, and grey-wrapped presents on the gift table.

The cake said Birthday in large, friendly letters.

The Humans were all grinning like maniacs. Some were shaking with the effort of withholding their laughter. Human Bob, one of the widest grinners, had a bowl full of printed horns. "Noisemaker?" ze said.

Human Su started snorting.

Might as well get this over with. They tried the thing. It literally made a sound that sounded like, "Noooiiise."

"Sweet flakking powers," Drees sighed. "You can't even try to not be crazed, can you?"

Despite how plain and generic they'd made everything appear, the food was delicious and safe. And the company was delightful. Humans really could have fun with anything at all.

[1] Certain Knomiras and Deregger polities are statistical outliers and should not count. In fact, many people would prefer that they didn't exist.

[Photo by mockupbee on Unsplash]

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