Dishonest expression rewarded over bluntness?

Few things bother me more than communities that clutch their pearls over blunt language. It's never the substantive meaning they oppose, but merely the particular form of expression. But this leads to a perpetual hypocrisy where nastiness is hidden under the cover of politeness. "Fuck you" is forbidden, but "bless your heart" isn't. So the people who are most adept at dishonestly expressing their feelings are rewarded, and the honest are punished.

It's supposedly an attempt to make a nice society. But what it really creates is an oppressive one.

"Fuck you" is at the extreme end, and among friends can be completely socially acceptable, until an outsider overhears and complains on behalf of their tender sensibilities.

"That's utter nonsense" should be perfectly socially acceptable, but in certain organizations it's not... unless it's spoken downwards, rather than upwards or horizontally.

But frankly, vulgarity doesn't bother me. Hypocrisy is far more offensive.

My larger concern is on the opposite end of the spectrum - that everyone thinks their overheated, hyperbolic hot take is worth spewing in the name of "honesty."

In my opinion, being truthful and being unfiltered are different.

It becomes a version of the boy who cried wolf. Many folks use their most extreme language so promiscuously, that there's no where to go when things really matter. I'm very judicious about swearing (or unequivocal language in general), so when I do, I appropriately shock and scandalise.

Honesty doesn't require - and is probably at odds with - going off unhinged.

Those Stepford wives were all seething inside.