8/6/25

Caffeine, stress, bills, time etc. Yeah, life rolls on. Can't believe we're solidly more than halfway through the year. Crazy.

I think I tentatively know my values these days at least what I strive for morally beliefs wise and everything. Follow God's word and plan the best I can. I fail a lot and regret a lot but I'm just trying my best at this point. Life is pretty exhausting. All I can do is move forward and pray for better days.

I try to be more or less rigid in my beliefs these days as I get older, being too clumsy or flimsy feels like a rather sad path to live on forever. Still there's balance I guess. I am willing to change my mind when compelling solid evidence or opinions are brought to my attention.

I haven't watched many debates or anything on YouTube as much as I used to, I think I seriously burnt myself out there. They can get me really worked up at 2 AM which doesn't exactly feel natural but I do watch some political stuff here and there of course. The sheer amount of information getting drilled into my skull for the past like, 15 years astounds me. I don't even know where it's all gotten me, what it's value even is. I know I've made a lot of creators rich that's for sure.

One area of life that I find myself a bit more stumped on is money and financial systems. Money is so so strange. I recently began watching some money shows about people's debt and stuff like that. First of all, it's insane how broke I am. It blows my mind how much of a different world I am in financially than some people. So I don't watch these shows to think I am better than any of the people that are in debt. It's definitely fascinating to see how deep people can be in debt, don't get me wrong, but it's also wild that while I'm not in debt at all, I am insanely broke with zero assets hahaha. It's such a weird thing to contemplate.

It's baffling that people can have more debt than the amount of money I've made in my entire life. I mean, how is this system even real. Money is so important that it begins to slowly feel unimportant at a certain point. It's literally all just numbers. Who has more numbers? Unbelievable. Strange.

Start a business they say. I'd say 80 percent of businesses are pointless.... Weird. Hive on folks.