Ephemeral

When you truly love it feels living inside a sweet dream. You could almost believe that fairytale exists. That somehow something is real in this world full of pretentions.

"Tears are for the sad ones, my love," she whispered, so close I was almost tasting her sweet strawberry breath. Her finger traced the stream of tears on my face. A soft familiar melody escaped her lips, washing away my anxieties.

I clutched her arm and pulled her into an embrace. "I love you. I love you so fucking much." I kissed her. I kissed her deep, owning her whole being.

"Andrè, what is wrong? Why are you crying?" She forced me to look at her.

I veered my head away from her, "Y-you..." I choked out.

"Come on, why?" She inched away. "I love you too, you know that right?"

"But--" I was unable to form the right words to say. It was too much to bear.

"I always love the calmness of the ocean, don't you, André?" she said looking at the vastness of the slow rocking tides.

"No. I don't...not anymore. Since that day..." I clenched both my hands, trying to stop the incoming flashes of unwanted memories.

"Why? It was never your fault my love," she murmured in the salty air.

"But it is..." fat angry tears started its onslaught.

She peered at me with that reassuring smile, "Don't ever blame yourself for living. It was never your fault."

"You left me alone. You're gone and I am alone..." I was never the weak kind but losing her was more than I could handle.

She held my hand, "Stop it. That is nonsense! You didn't lose me, I'm always here." She pointed on my chest, "André, we have our forever now. You are carrying me inside that beating heart of yours. I'm always your ephemeral love..."

The wind blew and her image dissipated before my eyes. I pounded on my chest trying to lessen the pain inside. I have no idea how long I could survive this sinkhole of emotions that was slowly drowning me. I knew I have to let her go and yet I couldn't.

I peered into the vastness of the ocean and felt sadness. I only wish to be with my love.