Homonyms : I should have listened.

My life is full of regrets. Each time I look back to count, I skip and miss count. Under one regret, countless are buried. I dream about the ones that hit me occassionally. Would I say I was just an ass hole for some of the fuck ups I could not manage or was it just fun pilling them up like heap

They never wanted us together. Most of her friends had tried poisoning her mind towards our relationship because of jealousy but she was in love. She wouldn't mention names but she tells me everything they discuss with her. Some of them would want to visit me at school without her consent but I was smart enough to keep them at arms lenght

I loved her so much.I was true to the relationship and she was also fidel. Things were going well until the day we attended a party

A party that gave me miseries. A party that erected a barricade between us. She warned me not to drink. The party groove stired up my spirit and I took some bottles of beer. I was already seeing double. She became angry. At that very point, I was off. I wasn't sleeping but I was an exact definition of sleep walking. I didn't know when she left

Of course that isn't enough to call it quit. Something else must have happened. I called several times after I got myself right but there was no respense. Each time I visit her, she wouldn't allow me in. She wouldn't pick calls and no reply to chat and messages. I became worried. I called her best friend to inquire what was going on and she opened up to me. I was mad at myself. I couldn't believe I had fun with one of her friends at the party under the influence of alcohol and I was recorded

That was what paralysed a rigid friendship that people jealous so much. What really broke my heart more was that she never gave me the chance to say a word. I expressed all my regret in messages but it wasn't enough to melt her heart to say a word to me

How I wish I could turn back time. How I wish I could reverse and undo what was done at the party. Each time I see her, I, would wish I could grab her and make her realize how sorry I was to have not listened to her

I just had to forgive myself and move on. But I still regret letting her slide away so easily when she never wanted to