Running From Sharks: March 30 2024

Breaking news: Sharks have evolved and no one is safe on land from their vicious attacks.

It appears that sharks now possess legs as well as lungs, and are fully functional predators both above and below water.

I myself spent several hours today verifying this information while running for my life through amber waves of grain, over purple mountain majesties, and across fruited plains with a pack of murderous land sharks hot on my heels.

They pursued me from sea to shining sea but I was able to escape because I knew how to do it.

Consider yourself warned and may God shed his grace on thee.
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