Trauma Sticks to Us!

Omo… PTSD is real ooo! And it’s something that, in one way or another, we experience. Even if we’re not the ones personally experiencing it, we know someone or a group of people who are suffering from one form of trauma or the other simply because of something that they were forced to endure in the past. It’s not a happy experience at all, because it can hinder the way we live the rest of our lives.

Trauma is like a scar that, at select times, feels like an open wound. Sometimes, it’s just there, quiet and dead. And other times, when we get a form of trigger, we find ourselves back in the same scenarios, trapped in our minds as we struggle in a situation that, physically, we’ve already overcome and left in the past. PTSD is real, and for many of us, it follows us everywhere.

For me, my own source of PTSD is the group of people that should never even be in such a conversation. And majorly Law Enforcement, especially police. One of the most dangerous phases of a man’s life in Nigeria is when he’s a young man. Because while he would have to be scared of bandits, terrorists, robbers, and cultists, he would also be scared of the Police, the drug agency, and EFCC. These guys talk about how they’re all our friends, but time and again, I’ve seen how they handle people and what they do to them.

I’m not a fraudster nor do I take drugs, so I’ve never had an issue with the drug agency or the EFCC. I’m not a criminal either, but I can tell you that I’ve had multiple brushes with the police. And my crime? Just existing. Back when I was in school, you could simply be walking home from class, and a bus would pull up, and you’d be arrested. Just like that! If you try to resist, you’ll be beaten black and blue.

The most terrifying experience was when they had a raid in our lodge. Two brothers fought one Saturday morning, and it was a bad fight that involved knives. That morning, the police were called, but they never showed up. Not until midnight, when the brothers had already settled their fight, and everyone was sleeping. That’s when they came to the lodge. And they didn’t even go for the brothers who fought; they went from room to room, kicking doors in and looking for any reason to pick anybody.

In my life, I had never been so terrified. Imagine sleeping peacefully, and then you wake up to hear someone kick your door in for no reason at all. But in my case, I wasn’t even asleep, so I could hear them moving from room to room, picking people up, as they came closer and closer. The only reason I wasn’t picked that day was that their shuttle bus was full. And that’s usually how it is. Many times, just being in the same vicinity as these guys is enough to get you arrested. This was one of the reasons I left Owerri the moment I graduated, because the trauma was just too much.

It wasn’t the one event for me, it was a series of events during the course of my time in school. And by the time I left, there were marked changes in me. As I speak to you now, when I see a black shuttle bus on the street, my heart would first of all skip. I can’t ever trust a Toyota Sienna. And then, every time I see an officer, I always mentally check myself, and I remind myself that I don’t have to run because I didn’t do anything.

The amount of damage these guys have done to young men is just heartbreaking. And the frustrating thing is that there’s no point at all. Just for money! When you’re taken, if you’re innocent, investigations will not clear you. Your bail will.

On another day, we’ll talk about how EFCC has a habit of breaking into people’s houses in the dead of the night. But for now, let’s just focus on the police. They remain my constant source of PTSD.