I Bought Myself A Gift...

I admit...I fall down the dangerous internet rabbit hole as much as the next guy. I start off looking innocently for a review for a new movie and 45 minutes later, I’m watching @modernzorker’s homemade pimple and cyst popping videos as I dry heave. He’s pretty good at it. Give the fella a looksie! I really like the cut of his jib!

Well a few days ago I fell and wound up on a blog with people discussing mudbutt, toilet paper, and bidet’s. Now I’ve never used a bidet myself and have always been curious but I’m stupid and never knew that there were attachments that can pop onto an existing toilet. I know...I’m a dummy. Anyway, upon seeing EVERYONE on this forum discussing how much better life is with a squeaky clean shitter, I popped onto Amazon and wasted $56 clams.

Today, my test ass squirt kit arrived. I won’t have time to connect it until my day off Sunday but I’m highly curious and must say that this is the first time ever I can say I’m super pumped to dump!

I told the kids that if it does a killer job on the ol’ turd cutter...that I’d buy one for the upstairs bathroom. I know how the kids think and they will start deliberately using my downstairs bathroom all the time if this gives our crappers a proper cleansing. That is an act I will try most eagerly, to avoid.

So my question to you all is this. Have you used a bidet before? If so, what are your thoughts? Do you currently have one??? Or do you just have a disgusting animal like fart box? Let your fellow Steemiams know!!!