Asking for a Borrow

I am disgusted by this issue. When someone asks for a loan, I give it according to the degree of closeness, I will never refuse it, especially if it is within certain limits, but if someone is not within that limit and I accept again, and if he does not even mention his name unless I tell him, he will never get it again. When you call again, I don't have it either, I'm sorry. it's that simple. How can you borrow money from a person and hang out without even mentioning it? I didn't want it until today, this is a situation that may be necessary, of course, but I'm trying not to want it, it's very difficult for me to want it. Even if I want to, from the moment I get it, the only thing on my mind is that debt. to give it and relax turns into my purpose in life, even if it's an exaggeration, I'm like this. I can't stand this slackness in people. wanting it back is another problem.