I silenced my shallow side

I didn't want that to happen. I was in a relationship for almost two years and all I needed was to live with a woman I thought was all I needed...a smart, funny, lovely woman to talk to about anything. Someone who looked up to me and wanted me to be the best partner I could be, or at least I thought I was.There was always great, open communication between us. We laughed together, shared the same values ​​and our deepest thoughts, both good and bad.I had a relationship that made people envious of me. Our friends respected us.

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We met just before the first signs of the epidemic started circulating online. I immediately felt that he was the right person for the long term, stable in his thoughts and feelings, and solid in his career. It may not suit my aesthetic tastes, but it definitely suits the deeper ones. I silenced the flat side. I never felt butterflies. I had never been this excited before meeting him, but somehow everything was effortless. And that lightness helped us live together when restrictions took effect. It felt right. she was different. No fireworks, just a steady warm fire and a moderate flame. long lasting type. I was on a cruise or was. One day, in the office kitchen, I met one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She wore her beauty with her timid gestures and humility. Nothing happened for six months, but there was a polite greeting. Then, one summer day, out of town, I opened that door and made an almost innocent reply to an Instagram story.

He knew I was in a relationship even before I told him. We agreed that nothing would happen and that we were just co-workers having a friendly discussion. But nothing stopped him. We fell madly in love and crossed all borders.

Before I realized what was happening, I had already transcended all the principles and values ​​I had lived with.It takes a long time for us to enter the physical world. I was. It was more than instant chemistry. We talked about our deepest concerns, childhood traumas, past abuse, etc. She was an incredibly beautiful woman, kind, smart, funny, and everything was mutual. was related. She knew from the beginning that she could never leave her partner for another woman. It's not because her heart doesn't want to be with her, but because she was old enough to know there were unhealed wounds from her old relationship. With the new one, it was a recipe for disaster. The bone-crushing guilt we both felt, the secrets, the regrets, everything felt wrong... I never understood people start cheating. It crushed my soul from the moment it started.